Sodaro's Stories

July 31, 2010

“Finally one has to shut up, sit down, and write.” Natalie Goldberg

Filed under: Writer's thoughts — michelle sodaro @ 2:34 pm

Every so often, you come across a quote that just says it all. This one says it all for me. I have a collection of quotes that kind of gently nudge me or downright kick me in the ass (depending on what is needed on any given day). This one by Ms. Goldberg pretty much sums up what I want to do…which of course contradicts what she is saying. Very similar to Yoda’s “there is no try, do or do not” and the ever-popular, “shit or get off the pot”…it all boils down to doing what you say you are going to do. Live the life you claim to be living. Do the things you need to get done. But stop talking about it…and just do it. And right now I am; to the fullest possible extent that I can…I am. I steal an hour here or an hour there, as I will have to do for the next 4 weeks until I clean off my “have to” plate and get to dig into my “WANT to” plate. I’m adding a chapter here and a chapter there. I’m making lists (I have to make lists…even when I am truly free, there will be lists for how else could I mark things off of them) of what I want to play with next and revving my engine for the time next month when I can just let it all go with both barrels (is there a world record for how many mixed metaphors can exist in one blog??). My muse is standing at the ready and both she and I are filled so full of anticipation that it is a bit of a contest to see who will get to the finish line first. Whether it is the muse or myself though, the end result will be me…writing. Not talking about writing, not wishing I were writing…but me…shutting up, sitting down, and WRITING. Well said, Natalie Goldberg…well said!

July 26, 2010

Beginning to Finish

Filed under: Writer's thoughts — michelle sodaro @ 10:28 pm

One of the biggest faults I have when it comes to my writing is my ability/desire to finish projects. My muse, beautiful though she may be, is incredibly fickle and when a project gets to the slower part, or nears the end, she has already gotten bored and wants to play with shinier, newer toys. She wants to start something new, which is fine…except that I have so many new projects, and I am not finishing any of them. There is a strange thing about getting published…evidently, it helps to finish something before you can send it out into the world. A friend told me once that I have more back burners than front ones…and I think he was right. And all too often it becomes a game of switching this to work on that, or letting this simmer a bit to play with this. My goal, as soon as I am able, is to FINISH things. To get my novels out into the world so that everyone can read them. I feel quite selfish, to be honest…I am the only one that has gotten to know my characters, and they are quite fabulous, if I do say so myself. So I need to introduce them to the world. I need to get them out there to be loved and hated, celebrated and commiserated…if I could change one thing about myself, it would be my level of excitement at the end of a project. But I can change, and I will…my characters and my stories deserve that.

July 24, 2010

Waiting just a little bit longer

Filed under: Writer's thoughts — michelle sodaro @ 12:39 pm

So, I have never been a patient soul…have never waited well. Those that know me know the best way to torture me is to make me wait for something. Hell, sometimes, microwave popcorn with its 3-minute suggested cooking time is too long for me to wait. And when it is something I want far more than popcorn…forget about it…the waiting is excruciating.

I want to play in my office. I want to play with my stories and reintroduce myself to characters I have never stopped thinking about…never stopped developing in my mind. I want to develop them and go back to older stories to add the wisdom and experience both in writing and in life, that I have learned. I want to be surrounded by my poetry and decide which ones I am ready to share with the world. I want to be able to really dive in to my doctorate papers, instead of stealing an hour here or 30 minutes there.

My life becomes more my own very very soon. I said in my last post that I was ready…the more accurate truth is that I am well past ready. I am more than ready for my life to be about my needs and my dreams…not someone else’s needs or dreams. It occurs to me that the majority of my relationships (professional and personal) are one-sided (from somewhere in the depths of my memory a science class is trying to give that kind of relationship a more accurate name, but it keeps fading in and out)…with me giving and the other person taking. Not through any fault of anyone for right now the nature of the beast is that it is my job to take care of others. And as for personal, well, I train people to rely on me…but that is getting better. I have begun to allow people to take care of me…and also, and perhaps the one thing that allowed me to make a change in my life…I am allowing ME to take care of me.

Very soon I will get to immerse myself more completely in the fictional worlds and literacy worlds that I have created…until then I dabble as time allows…dip my foot into the ocean that I long to jump into. Just a little more wading…while I’m waiting.

July 22, 2010

“Waiting for my Real Life…to Begin”

Filed under: Writer's thoughts — michelle sodaro @ 9:55 pm

So a friend of mine introduced me to a song by Colin Hay that had lyrics that stated “Don’t you understand? I already have a plan. I’m waiting for my real life to begin. When I awoke today, suddenly nothing happened. But in my dreams I slew the dragon. And down this beaten path, And up this cobbled lane, I’m walking in my own footsteps once again. And you say,”Just be here now, Forget about the past. Your mask is wearing thin”
I think I finally understand that song. I thought I understood it when he danced with me in my living room, but I didn’t fully comprehend it then. I do now.

So much of my life has been spent wearing one mask or another…and while some of those masks are as natural and comfortable to me as my own skin, some of them don’t fit quite as well. So here I go…ready to embrace the me that is a student, the me that is a teacher, and the me that is a writer. All other masks are being safely packed away for another time or a never time.  There will never be a better time for me to take that dive, for me to spread my bruised and battered wings and see how far they can take me. There will be no better time for me to be the writer I have always claimed to be.

Since making this decision, my muse has come back to play…little bits of teasing and fun just to let me know that she’s still there…and she’s ready for some serious work to be done. She’s always been there, patiently waiting for me…and thanks to a dance in my living room with a dear friend of mine who is now among the angels that watch over us all…I am ready.

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