Sodaro's Stories

June 12, 2011

Friends trump fear

Filed under: Writer's thoughts — michelle sodaro @ 12:39 pm

Henry David Thoreau said, “Friends cherish each other’s hopes. They are kind to each other’s dreams.” I like Thoreau (and Emerson) so much more now than when I studied the Transcendalists (Dickinson has always appealed to me…Whitman I can take in small doses). I have this fear of my dreams coming true…a fear that all but paralyzes me. I almost dropped my Masters a month before I graduated because of this fear…as the fear’s strength is directly parallel (a perfect negative relationship) to the level of exhaustion, I have no doubt that as my Doctorate comes closer to completion that the thought of running away will again raise its disturbing head. The more that I want something, the higher the fear goes as well…so this should be an interesting next year.
Luckily for me, I have and have always had, people in my life that ABSOLUTELY refuse to let my fear win…I don’t often let people carry me…the fear of being dropped, even metaphorically, is so great and has happened so often as to prevent that level of trust from existing with too many people. But there are those that have proven they will not drop me, that they will support me and be fountains of positive energy…and they are carrying me right now.
Today, I type the changes made to Whatever you Make of It and tomorrow I call iUniverse and ask them 5 very important questions: How long does production take? Can I keep it fiction and not change it to young adult as was suggested? How does it work with Amazon? What do I do next? Are there discounts for publishing future books with them? And then I click send. My cover is perfect. My picture is perfect. My novel is perfect. And yes…I am biased.
But if not for the friends that cherish my dreams as surely as if they were their own…if not for the hope and kindness that my friends have chosen…the fear might have had a chance. But fear not, for friends trump fear. The friends I have now…most definitely are stronger than the fear.

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