Sodaro's Stories

October 31, 2011

Goodbye to me!!!

Filed under: Writer's thoughts — michelle sodaro @ 2:43 am

So this is what I have realized…I have been so afraid to let the world see certain parts of me…I have been afraid to let myself feel…well much of anything really, if I am being honest…which I truly try to be here…I have been so afraid of being rejected that I gave people superficial reasons to reject me which would prevent them from getting to know the real me, lest they reject me for real. Those of you who know me best, know this is true.
My fears include my physical appearance. Now I know that those of you who love me will say that I am beautiful…and I will thank you for it…but if we are being honest with each other, I am not healthy…or at least not as healthy as I could be. So I have decided that it is way past time for hiding. I need to be healthy and I need to lose weight and exercise. I am done hiding behind my size. I use it as an excuse to not meet people, I make it easy for people to reject me when I do meet them, and I give the lie that the problem is with them, not me…but the problem is me…I don’t like me the way that I am…and I need to fix the parts I don’t like.
I am an amazing teacher. I am fortunate that I am in a profession that I love. I am an amazing writer as well. I need to let people know the me that I am instead of the me that I hide behind…so starting now…I will be that girl that is amazing…and I will say goodbye to the parts of me that I have been too scared to get rid of due to scars that I have finally let heal. And good for me!

October 28, 2011

Bite by bite…

Filed under: Writer's thoughts — michelle sodaro @ 1:27 pm

The two best books I have read about writing are In Writing by my hero, Stephen King and Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott. And while my complete adoration of Stephen King and all of his goodness, today, I am thinking about the basis for Anne Lamott’s book. The premise, without spoiling the book for any of you writers that want to read it…which I highly recommend, is that her brother was overwhelmed by a report about birds and their father offered the absolute wisdom of tackling the paper bird by bird.
Since I am constantly over-filling my personal plate…I am altering the wisdom and am going to tackle the items I have put on the plate (I think that may be the most frustrating part…I did this to myself…AGAIN) but I am going to go at it bite by bite. I am going to continue to make my lists (ah…OCD…how I have loved you) and I am going to work on one chapter of one thing; mark it off the list…then one section of one paper; mark it off the list…one article for my literature review; mark it off the list.
I have already started this concept this week…wanted to take it for a test drive, so to speak…and in the last 3 days, I have added 5 pages to my doctorate paper, 4 articles to my literature review, and finished chapter 19 of Arianna….so it appears to be working.
Have no fear…I do have each section of my plate represented on my list…I’m nothing if not equal…damn Velveteen Rabbit story making me think all things had feelings and if there was not equal attention and love…anyway…my bite by bite theory seems to be working well…and so here it goes!

October 16, 2011

Get to work, lady!!

Filed under: Writer's thoughts — michelle sodaro @ 1:18 pm

So it happens this time each year…I look at my calendar and am freaked out by how few pages are left in this year’s calendar…it is ALMOST November, after all…and we all sit around and wonder where the year went…well…I can tell you where mine went. My year so far has been trying to get as much Doctorate work done, publishing my beautiful first born, Whatever You Make of It, working on my multiple personalities…I mean multiple story ideas…ahem.
The problem with my calendar view is quite simply this…I told myself when I stepped down from my beyond–full-time job, that I had 2011 to play part-time teacher in order to have full-time doctorate and novel time. I told myself I would take the pay cut and live frugally for a year to give those two aspects their due attention…so my twins (I’m a Gemini in case anyone couldn’t guess that) are fighting again now because the calendar very clearly shows that 2011, and therefore my play time, is almost over.
My logical twin is looking to the future and thinking that I need to get a grown-up job again, have savings, have job security, and all of those tidy things like extra money and benefits.
My emotional twin is begging…literally begging for just a little more time. It is entirely probable (and uncharacteristically realistic) that by the end of May, I will have every little bit done except for my Dissertation (which I have been allowed to start the Literature Review for…tee hee)…and when I have only my Dissertation left, I can apply for a teaching position at a University which is more suited to my goals than my current positions. Also in May, Ten by Ten will be ready for being performed…and in order for those two things to happen, I need the time that I currently have (and some I could stand to borrow, but I’ll make it work with my two current part-time jobs so that bills still get paid…). If I could just get a 6-month extension to my original contract with myself…that would get it done.
So instead of looking at the calendar as there are only 2 months left…I have to look at it as there are still 2 months for my original time frame, with an option to renew!!!
So get busy lady…logical twin is not going to be convinced otherwise.

October 2, 2011

Go Go Go!!!!!

Filed under: Writer's thoughts — michelle sodaro @ 3:52 pm

So I have been bitten by a bug…and this bug is more poisonous than any other known to man. It’s not an actual bug, have no fear…I don’t have to go to the doctor and get a shot or anything scary….this bug is the publishing bug and the poison is finishing projects and getting my novels and characters out in the world. All I want to do is write and work and write and work and then do some more writing. I don’t want to teach…I don’t want to hang out…I don’t want to play my video games…I don’t want to be around people. I want to write. And play with my pretty pretty novels and my pretty pretty projects. I want to mark more things off my list of things to finish. I want to work on my doctorate…now that I only have 2 papers left and one class and 2 residencies…I talked to my advisor and she said I could start working on the Literature Review for my dissertation…sorry that needs more emphasis: I SAID I COULD START WORKING ON THE LITERATURE REVIEW FOR MY DISSERTATION!!!! WOOT!! And since I had all of my papers be about the same topic…I just need to go through and find the things that pertain to the effects of literacy on adult learners. So that will be easy breezy!!
And my novels…oh my pretty novels…everytime I talk to people I am more and more excited about them. I want to work on all of them at the same time. And depending on which friend I speak to…determines which story I want to work on right now.
And all that was vamped up by the point that I got my book tattoo yesterday. There is a stack of 5 books and the bottom one is filled in in green with the beautiful title “Whatever” filled in…and there are four books above that one just waiting for the titles to be filled in when I get those next ones published…If I were a more patient person this would be excellent…but I’m not, so I need to get to work. GO GO GO !!!!

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