Sodaro's Stories

August 11, 2012

Right Here, Right Now

Filed under: Writer's thoughts — michelle sodaro @ 12:38 pm
Tags: , , , , , ,

“Right here, right now, there is no other place I’d rather be.” Right here, right now — Jesus Jones

Okay, so that song lyric is not the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help me God…but it’s a goal, and I think it’s a relatively good one to have.
I spend a lot of time looking forward. It is, on one hand, the way I get and keep my momentum to accomplish my aspirations. On the other hand, it can (and has been) be argued that I spend so much time in the “then” that I completely disregard the “now.”
I picture myself on a beach, writing 8-10 hours a day, loving the knowledge that my novels are out in the world, that my characters are out there for people to love or hate or disregard compleltey…but they exist outside of my head. My educational writings are used as reference material or paperweights, but again, exist in tangible form. This is the “then” that I dream of…will I get there? While there are no certainties in life, I wouldn’t bet against me.
But my “now” is not my “then.” No where near in fact…and that has been what I have been focused on…how much better my “then” will be compared to my “now.” I’ll be happier, I’ll exercise more, I’ll find another love I can’t walk away from, I’ll have more money…I’ll just have a better life.
Now I’m sure some of those could very well turn out to be true…but now without my changing my mind frame. It’s not an “us vs. them” situation…or more to the point, a “now vs. then” situation. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing..or perhaps better expressed, I don’t have to pine toward the all of “then” and bemoan the nothing of “now.”
Can I write 8-10 hours a day now? No, of course not. I work two jobs, am finishing my PhD, and like occasional sleep…but can I write every day, even for 2-3 hours, thus establishing the habit now…for then? Yes, this I can do. Will I be happier if this happens? Of course.
Can I exercise more “now” thus making it less work to do “then?” OF course…will I? Hmmm….
Will I find another love I can’t walk away from? It seems likely if I put myself out there that this could happen.
Will I have more money? Hopefully…or at least less debt. Just as with exercise, every pound I lose or bill I pay now leads to a healthier then.
Will I be happier? Not unless I let of the negative energy NOW.

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