Sodaro's Stories

June 10, 2013

Compulsion

Filed under: Writer's thoughts — michelle sodaro @ 3:25 pm
Tags: , , , , , , ,

“Writing is more than anything a compulsion, like some people wash their hands 30 times a day for fear of awful consequences if they do not.” Julie Burchill
A friend asked me once if I did my OCD-eccentricities because of a fear of the consequences if I did not, for instance, start on my right foot to go down the stairs, have any random marks on my board before starting class, had a hanger facing the other way, ate my M&M’s in random order, or didn’t finish a pattern. Of course not…most likely…maybe…but better safe than sorry, perhaps.
What if I ate my M&M’s out of color order and Hugh Jackman never took his shirt off in another movie? How could I live with myself? It’s just not worth the risk.
Writing is a compulsion for me, but it’s not exactly the same as my M&M’s or the fact that I need to have things end in a 5 or 0. Writing every day is a compulsion for me because it is my balance, my “easy like a Sunday morning,” my calm breath of fresh air, my find your center. Writing fills me with positive energy so I can then send that positive back into the universe. Writing everyday keeps the demons I battle from ever getting a chance to win.
It keeps me fighting the good fight, having faith in humanity, believing in true love…all the therapy I could ever need flows from my shiny pen to my paper and as the words appear on the page, my rage lessens, my confusion clears, my hope grows and my faith strengthens.
I used to be okay as long as I wrote once a month — then once every other week — then every week — then a couple days a week. Now I HAVE to write every day — it is the favorite of all of my compulsive behaviors. The more I write; the more I need to…and I don’t mind that at all.
And in case you were unaware…the correct order to eat M&M’s is Brown, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Red.

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