Sodaro's Stories

December 29, 2015

The more “me” ME

Filed under: Uncategorized — michelle sodaro @ 1:08 pm
Tags: , ,

“Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name. And they’re always glad you came.” Cheers theme song
Sometimes it is so comforting to go where everyone knows you. They have already accepted your quirks and seem to like you anyway. There is a level of coziness with people and places you have known your whole life. And what you sometimes don’t realize is that with that comfort, it is hard to grow into what you could become. When you are around people who have known you for years, every time you are around them, it is like a time portal swoops you back to who you were when you met them. Everyone says this “it was like nothing had changed.”
The problem being of course that everything has…EVERYTHING has changed. I am not the person I was at the beginning of this year or 2 years ago or 5 years ago or 19 years ago. Every experience I have had and every person I have gotten to know has shaped me into who I am and I am not the person I was when I experienced those things or met those people. I wonder if that me would even recognize the me that exists today.
My 40th year on this planet has brought intense change to how I see myself, how I live my life, and what/who I keep in my life It has made me into a more aware person, a stronger person, author, and teacher. It has also erased some of the lines between my roles as Ms. Sodaro, teacher and Michelle Sodaro, author/person/female. I am as close as possible to having Ms. Sodaro and Michelle being the same person as I have ever been, and as much as is possible (this will make more sense to some of you than others, those who have gotten to know me as Ms. Sodaro and also Michelle).
I am about 95% mask free with that last 5% sticking around when I want/need to write and have do to do other things…trust me, that 95% mask free is a huge step for me as I used to have to wear the damn thing about  75% of the time because of people I was around not being comfortable with the real me. Being my true self this much of the time is pretty amazing, not gonna lie…and truth be told, (which is all I do now) I have missed ME!!!
My writing is stronger, more honest, and just all around better. It’s amazing what comes out when you are no longer afraid.
I am smiling more…smiling for real…not a fake “everything is fine” smile…but the real deal.
I am embracing my author life. I am embracing the love that remains for my teacher life as well and I am finding ways to have balance between the two in time as well as energy.
So it’s a new ball game, folks. Should be an interesting ride.

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