Sodaro's Stories

February 29, 2016

Reflection on February

Filed under: Writer's thoughts — michelle sodaro @ 12:41 pm
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And we put another February to bed…almost everyone I talked to said this was an odd month…just odd. Maybe February has Napoleon’s “little man syndrome” (and yes a story idea is forming where the different months are personified…if that surprises you, you really don’t know me all that well, haha.)

I started exercising this month, with the idea that being more active will help my knees, bot the one that has osteoarthritis and the one that hasn’t been checked yet…it would also help my energy levels and the depression I am keeping at bay (just barely some days, but I’m counting it as a win, nonetheless).

I have 3 chapters left of Redeeming Trust let to type and then my reader FINALLY gets it. Fix any plot holes she mentions…then final read through out loud and then publish (I haven’t worked out the paying for this part yet, but at least it will be ready).

I have made tiny dents in the pile of debt, nothing significant, but enough dents and the pile will crumble.

I have only read 4 books so far this year and really need to kick this up a notch. Especially books by people I know so I can review them and help the cycle.

I have put myself out there socially, enough to be rejected, but it’s more than I did last month and most of last year, so again, counting it as a win.

I have done some intense soul searching and reflection and have started the process of healing.

I am on the right path and I may be going slowly, but I am still moving forward.

Not too bad.

 

February 26, 2016

Patience

Filed under: Writer's thoughts — michelle sodaro @ 1:42 pm
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I hate waiting. I mean I really REALLY hate waiting…like a lot. Fast forward was invented for a reason, people, and we really need to upgrade its uses. LIKE NOW.

Because I hate waiting so much, the Universe does a really good job at making me wait…for everything…and then sits there and watches me twitch.

I want Redeeming Trust done NOW (okay I’m not the only one who wants this…which should count, right…) and it’s getting closer every day. I have 5 chapters left to type and then it’s off to my reader…who hopefully doesn’t find so many plot holes that I have to scrap it and start over completely.

I want Lucky Charms done NOW as well…which is awkward as I haven’t even started the read-through to get the revision done.

I want…well, I want all of my current projects finished NOW…so that I can start on new ones.

I want almost all of my debt gone. POOF. GONE. (One will be paid as slowly as possible because that’s all my personality will allow me to do in protest).

I want to be healthier NOW.

I want to be farther along in my author life NOW.

I wonder if my problem is that I was born in the Chinese year of the rabbit, when clearly life wants me to have the tortoise mentality of slow and steady wins the race.

My first tattoo was the Oriental symbol for peace…since then, I have let go of a lot of my rage (some say I have matured, I say the ink soaked in and made me calm…) Perhaps I should add a symbol for patience to have that sink in as well.

I really wouldn’t mind waiting..if it didn’t take so damn long.

February 25, 2016

Baby Steps

Filed under: Writer's thoughts — michelle sodaro @ 2:09 pm

This morning I drank a Special K Protein shake instead of grabbing a donut. Not monumental, but a baby step.

I bought a walk-workout DVD and have done it 4 days in a row…I didn’t do it yesterday because of work and such, but I still reached my step goal according to my fitbit.

I didn’t do as much typing on the last 5 chapters of Redeeming Trust as I wanted to yesterday, but I did do some.

It is only 2 weeks into the 40 Days of Lent, but I haven’t had any pop or candy yet. I’m holding strong, which is better than I have done any previous year.

I can’t pay all the bills I need to this paycheck, but I am paying some and doing what I can.

I don’t have completely peace of mind, but I am getting closer and am focused and motivated.

I am behind on most things in my world, but am catching up and making progress as I can.

 

February 24, 2016

The paradox of February

Filed under: Writer's thoughts — michelle sodaro @ 12:55 pm
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So every year, about this time, it occurs to me that February is a paradox…by calendar days, it is the shortest month (even in years such as this one where it has 29 days instead of its usual 28) and yet, somehow, it always feels like the longest month in the history of all time.

Maybe it’s that awkward time after football before baseball where we are not quite sure what to do with ourselves? I know there is still basketball and hockey to watch, which is helpful…but still…

Maybe it’s all of us waiting for Spring? We get these little teasers of nice weather but nothing stays the same for more than three minutes and the warm weather only serves to confuse flora, fauna, and allergies.

Somehow, I lost almost two weeks this long-short month. I went to work (I am pretty sure of this as I somehow still have both my full-time and part-time teaching jobs). My cats are still alive and affectionate (ish) towards me, so I must have fed them and kept up with their demands. I’m not mal-nourished or wasting away so I must be eating on a regular basis as well.

Then I look at my projects and I have no idea what happened to that time. For about two weeks, very little progress was made…and part of it, I know, is from the aforementioned confused allergies, but there is just a block in my memory of what I accomplished for the past two weeks. I am behind on every project, including my blog…and it’s a little disconcerting because I have lots to get done.

February 22, 2016

Nod to the Dreamers

I was thinking, this weekend, about the dreamers…those people who continue to pursue their goals despite the negativity and naysayers. Singers who continue to put songs out there, despite the critics of their style or person…the students who pursue their goals despite the lack of support system…those person who try for a job that others mock or try to dissuade them…I think this would was built on dreamers.

Whenever I talk about my full-time author life, I usually get one of two reactions…there is either skepticism and doubt or support and belief. And whether the former is due to them not having a dream they want more than anything so they don’t believe such things can happen, or they don’t believe in me accomplishing this dream specifically, I saw…watch me! This is going to happen with or without your support and if you would just kindly get out of my way, and I will get on with the steps I need to take. Because ultimately — I’m going to get there with or without you — and you can bet I’ll remember your skepticism and doubt once I’ve made it.

To the other half — those who either believe in me as a person because they know I accomplish my goals or they believe in me as an author (or both…I like both :D) because they have read one or more of my books (Whatever you Make of ItArianna’s HonorArianna’s DestinyBroken Trust, and soon soon soon Redeeming Trust) and think my stories and characters are as amazing as I think they are. I thank you and appreciate you from the bottom of my heart and I can feel your support and hear you rooting for me and I will remember you when I have made it as well…trust me this will be the better side of my memory.

February 20, 2016

SUNSHINNNNNE!!!!!

Filed under: Writer's thoughts — michelle sodaro @ 12:57 pm
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Okay, so it is February (I double checked my calendar) and here in the KC area, we have temperatures that are very non-February-y and I am loving loving loving it. (Well, except my sinuses and allergies which are beyond confused and trying to have parties to try to figure out if it is Spring or still Winter so they know how to act).

Being solar powered, as I am, I am loving this weather. When it is nice out…sunny and warm (though the wind has me walking around a lot of the time like Cousin It) there is just a positive energy around and I just SOAK IT UP. I am pretty full of positive energy most of the time (when you have the characters I have in your head, it’s hard to have any negative energy at all) but cold and gray (and life things) can suck out that positive energy and make it hard to want to do anything at all, including writing…which I still make sure to do at least for 30 minutes a day because sometimes that is the only thing that keeps me going.

I want to find a nice picnic table and grab my notebooks and pens and just soak up the Vitamin D and fresh air (I’ll double up on my allergy medicine…it’s worth it) and just FEEL the energy refilling me with hope and focus and motivation. It is rather hard to be stressed and crazed when the sun is shining (especially when I look at the calendar and am reminded it is February so we could have snow tomorrow).

 

February 19, 2016

Off balance…

Filed under: Writer's thoughts — michelle sodaro @ 12:56 pm
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SO once again, I have lost my balance of the different things I need to do and I feel behind and upside down all at the same time. I need to take some time (while still making progress, because there is no slowing down right now…) and regroup my thinking and my activities. Just need to get the wheels in my mind re-aligned so I can continue on down this road.

I have made great strides in the typing of the edits for Redeeming Trust and if I stick to my game plan for this weekend, the draft should be ready to send to my “patient” reader by Tuesday. Then when I get it back from her (and hopefully she doesn’t make me wait as long as I have made her wait, though it would only be fair) I do a final read-through, patch up any plot holes she discovered and then the novel is finally ready to send out into the world.

While typing the edits has taken longer than I planned, I still know that everything happens when and how it is supposed to, so there is a purpose for the delay, even though I am not completely aware of that purpose quite yet. Of course being delayed in this has also caused a bit of a delay in other projects that I am writing or getting ready to edit (Lucky Charms has been sitting at draft stage for quite some time now. First Down is printed and ready to be my primary project. So close gang…hold on just a few more minutes.

My teaching jobs have both thrown me off balance and been off balance as well and I am now able to say my focus is clear and I can get back on track…sometimes despite my best intentions of keeping my personal life and professional life separate…sometimes things throw you so far off your game it affects everything. But I’m back…focused and ready to give the teaching world my integrity and dedication. Thanks for your patience and for holding a place for me in line.

I am not so far out of balance that I can’t fix it. I don’t let it get that out of control, no matter what is going on in my world…but I am enough off balance that it is affecting my peace of mind, so that needs to be fixed and I will be balanced again before the weekend is over…count on it.

Go Sodaro!

February 5, 2016

Out of whack feng shui

Filed under: Writer's thoughts — michelle sodaro @ 1:01 pm
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I used to not give much credence to the idea of feng shui…used to tell myself and others that I thrived in chaos and that my organizational system (or lack thereof) worked for me and creative genius needs to flourish and don’t judge me by my mess…judge me by the finished product…and maybe I truly believed it or maybe I was just a little bit lazy (probably a combo of both).

The problem with my feng shui is that is not only external. Yes, I have projects and physical things all over the place in my living space. Yes, I have things spread out and rather messy…but that is just what you can see. I have the same mess inside my mind…and there are even more projects and things inside my head than exist outside my mind.

And yes, some would say, “Sodaro, maybe you are being a bit hard on yourself, I mean you have gotten projects done. You have 4 novels published. You are typing the edits of novel #5…so that’s not too shabby.” And I would smile and genuinely thank you for your grace and for reminding me to offer myself the same grace.

But I would also say that I have over 25 novels started. I would say that I have 40-some nonfiction projects started. I have over 400 poems I have written that are going to be edited and polished and put in a compilation (not all of them…in one book). And while I can function in chaos pretty well, what happens is that when life gets messy with non-writing things, with emotional things or financial things or any of the other things that can attack us in life when we are focused on our goals, it makes the chaos nothing more than a mess. And then the mess becomes what I focus on and I get overwhelmed by everything I need to do, get done, get busy on, get finished, pay for, take care of, deal with, get over, let go of, heal from, clean up, learn from, write about, etc.

I am going to get a lot done this weekend, both on Redeeming Trust and on cleaning up the things I can clean up, internally and externally. I got this.

 

February 1, 2016

So it’s February…

Filed under: Writer's thoughts — michelle sodaro @ 2:58 pm
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Somehow I blinked again and it is the beginning of a new month…did “they” shorten January this year because it feels like it was just a week ago when I was jumping in with all of the others to scream out the ‘New Year, New Me’ plans…and I am still making progress and I am still making changes (not giving up on the whole season because of the first preseason game) but it just seems like I misplaced part of my January.

Looking at my resolutions…I made tiny bits of progress…I have talked to new people, opened an account for my writing, made teeny tiny itty bitty steps toward getting out from under my debt, have organized more of my projects, have kept my blog steady for its goal to reach 700 by year’s end. I have worked on my OCD, but not to the point that it has become a compulsion (little joke for you there). I have made progress on using what I have instead of buying more (except for pens…I can’t seem to stop buying those).

I have found a church I like enough to go back to for a 2nd week, have cleared out some of the emotional cobwebs from last year, and worked on some of the baggage and questions that were hanging over my head from the actions of others. Reminding myself once again that I can’t control what other people do (and am really to busy keeping myself in line to even really want to) but I can control my reactions. I can walk away from things if they seem unhealthy. I can redefine myself and what I need in my life right now. (One of those things being solitude to refocus and heal…and of course to finish projects).

I didn’t get Redeeming Trust all typed with its edits…but I did get closer. And it remains my number one priority (well…after keeping my jobs happy with me to keep the paychecks I need) and I will get more done now that things have calmed down. To those of you waiting, thank you for  your continued quasi-patience.

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