Sodaro's Stories

August 23, 2016

Project Quilt

Filed under: Writer's thoughts — michelle sodaro @ 1:07 pm
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project quilt

SO a few years ago, I had all my “current” projects up on my wall…and it reminded me that I needed to quit playing World of Warcraft and get to work on these projects. After a few moves and updates to the project list, it is finally back on my wall where it belongs. That’s a lot of color in one picture…it is even more so in real life 😀 But I was careful to not have the pink paper visible on the pink paint or the green paper visible on the green paint. That and not having the same color side by side or directly on top or bottom…was all I allowed my OCD to have a say in this. There was no real order to the projects. I didn’t do alphabetical or color coded…See…I am making progress on controlling my OCD…but not to the point that I obsess about it (see what I did there 😉 haha)

45…there are 45 of them on my wall. In order to be seen as “current” they have to have at least an outline or at least 3 chapters written. Yes, I know this is too many toys to have out of the toy box at one time. I’m working on having more focus and actually finishing things. Turns out I really get a kick out of holding the finished products all shiny in their covers. SO I am working on finishing more things…which will then of course leave room on my wall for new posters and new ideas that have not yet met the self-imposed “current” criteria.

 

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June 30, 2016

30 Days of Blogs: Author things – Finishing

Filed under: Writer's thoughts — michelle sodaro @ 12:09 pm
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So as we bring this month to a close…I have to say…I am okay with where things sit. I got 28 of the 30 blogs (and  27 of the 30 workout days, bringing me that much closer to my shoulder piece goal).

I used to never finish things. Well…except cake, pancakes, and ice cream…those I always finished…thus the need for workout goals.

The quote by Erica Jong “I went for years without finishing anything. Because of course, when you finish something you can be judged…” so perfectly described my philosophy of life and I didn’t even consciously realize that was the reason I would start a new project (or seven) to never ever have to run the risk of accidentally finishing something. Because if I finished something, then what…then I had to put it out into the world? No way. Have you seen the world? There are people out there…and they’re mean…and you want me to just toss my novels, my poetry, my short stories, my essays out there…No way.

I didn’t finish my PhD. I had One course, one paper, one residency and my dissertation left. Now I just have a whole lotta debt and nothing to show for it. My adviser said “don’t publish your first novel before you finish your degree. I scoffed and said “I got this.” And then I held my first novel…and not only did I not “have this” but I didn’t care. l knew what I wanted to be when I grew up and it had nothing to do with having three initials after my name. I wanted to finish every project I’d ever started so that I could hold every one of them in my hands, just like I did with Whatever you Make of It. 

 

July 4, 2013

Needing to Finish

Filed under: Writer's thoughts — michelle sodaro @ 8:26 pm
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You know the frustration of getting to a certain point of an activity and not being able to finish??? Yeah, I’m there.
I currently have 5 first drafts completely written. 5 drafts which are needing to be edited and polished and then published.  5 drafts which need me to not start a new project until I finish some or all of those. 5 drafts that are begging me to follow through and actually be able to put them into the “done” pile instead of keeping them in the limbo of the “to be finished” pile.
Yes. I need to feel the satisfaction of finishing a project again. I felt it with Whatever you Make of It and I felt it with Arianna’s Honor. I felt it when I held each of those books. It was a “oh yeah, that’s what it feels like to finish something I have started….I remember that feeling…that feels amazing.”
Some think it is fear of success that keeps me from finishing. That may be part of it to be sure….more to the point though is the plethora of ideas that I have started, mixed with just enough ADD to keep things interesting in my world.
But I need to finish…I REALLY need to do this.

June 10, 2012

FINISH HIM!!!!!

Filed under: Writer's thoughts — michelle sodaro @ 12:45 pm
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Anyone who has ever played Mortal Kombat (any of them or all of them) will be familiar with the deep voice yelling at  you to completely decimate the opponent who is wobbling and barely standing. Now is the time to do the fancy finishing move that will most assuredly defeat your enemy and leave you standing as the victor. I think it says a lot about me, but I always felt bad at that point in the game…I mean you have already destroyed your opponent…he’s barely standing…he’s humiliated. All of his friends and family are devastated and here you go with your special move…to make sure that he is dead…only with this move, he is defenseless…and you come off looking a bit like a bully…I always had a problem with that…

Now of course I understand that my true problem with it was not the decimation of a fictional cartoon video game character who in actuality has no family, no spouse and children in the stands sobbing at the demise of their loved one…yeah, perhaps someone with as much of an imagination as I have should not play this game…but my point is (and yes, I do remember where I am going with this…what did you think, that I had followed my fictional opponent to the gravesite where his oldest son was plotting revenge…ahem..) that I have a problem with finishing things. And my problem with finishing things is that, well, once you finish them, they are over…quite profound, I know.

I have multiple novels that I have started and almost finished. I have gobs of projects that are in the same almost finished category. I know I need to see it as “if I finish this, I can concentrate more fully on this over here.” I know this. Part of it is OCD as I like things to be as close to perfection as possible. Part of it is ADD where I have found something shiner to play with…I am self-diagnosed on both of these by the way, but most people who know me, think the initials are fairly accurate.

Maybe using the Mortal Kombat analogy was not a good one to use…after all, I am not going to kill off Arianna…good god…she’s quite adept with her sword and would chop me to pieces. I am also not going to kill off my doctorate paper because well, that would just be silly…what I am going to do is simple. I am going to FINISH THEM.

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